I feel like a joke...

I went in to get the Mirena last month only to discover that, at the time I went to get it inserted, I was already pregnant. Bear in mind, please, that I was NOT wanting one at the time...hence the birth control. But I IMMEDIATELY was so so SO excited. I didn’t once feel guilt or anything at all. I felt happy and excited and READY.

A few days later, I misscarried. I wasn’t far along and it was very unexpected so I’m okay. But I never knew just how much. I wanted to be a mom to a second baby until I actually found out I was pregnant.

So we tried again.

And low and behold I’m pregnant again!!!!

But I feel so icky....I did tell a few VERY FEW people about the last go round and explained how i had taken the plan B right after having sex but wasn’t sure if that was what caused the misscarriage, and I feel like maybe I just look like a fool....since I was actually going in to get birth control, wouldn’t that mean I didn’t want anymore? I feel like people wonder why on earth I’m trying again when I took plan B last time to actually prevent the pregnancy.

I’m sorry. I know this is quite a lot.. I just want to be happy and feel like I can’t be just because of this....