Stressed-Need Advice

So... I'm going to start with my background and work my way up to the present happenings...

HISTORY: sexually assaulted at 12 years old by a friend's older brother in a room full of people (slumber party in the living room).... developed major anxiety and trust issues, life became erratic and out of control, so I go to therapy from 15 to late 20s to deal with PTSD and Borderline Personality characteristics. From 17-20ish I'm in a volatile relationship with a guy I only THINK I'm in love with. I obsess, we're abusive and unfaithful to one another and I start using drugs and alcohol. Eventually I end the cycle of bullshit. After focusing on myself and getting my symptoms under control, I'm diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and get THAT treated. Theorized that my still remaining depression was due to drinking habits. Got sober for just over a year due to said depression at 30. During sobriety, discovered my birth control pill was to blame for my suicidal ideation. Go off it, get copper, non-hormonal IUD... resume drinking like a normal person and get back to living my life.

PRESENT: I'm 33, no longer battling major depression... I'm holding down a job, paying my bills, living in a warmer climate 800 miles away from my past and generally just enjoying life... but I started dating this guy I meet through my job (customer service) a few months ago. He's instantly hooked. It scares me a bit, but I take a chance... After a night out, I kiss him goodnight, Within a week of us dating (before a title is established) he says something sketchy, yet seemingly harmless to the untrained ear (which, fortunately for me, I am not)... He tells me he's "crazy about [me] too", something I never claimed to be... I (foolishly) ignore the remark and we proceed to boyfriend-girlfriend status over the next month. He dotes on me hand and foot, even when I protest. He pays for everything not only for me, but for all of my friends when we go out, like he REALLY NEEDS my friends to like him. He's clingy, both emotionally and physically. We fool around when drunk but never have sex because his neediness and anxious tendencies just reek of my previous nightmare relationship (see above) and it seriously turns me off. It's been 15 years since I've dealt with this kind of behavior and I'm not about to backtrack, so I end the relationship, but agree we can stay friends. And this is where it gets really weird... I'd met some of his friends while we were together but he seems far more invested in spending time with MY friends now that we're split up... my roommates really liked him when we dated so this past weekend, given that he and I agreed to stay friends, one of them invited him to hang with us to celebrate another's birthday. Everything was fine until we decided to come home and play cards and keep drinking... I went to sleep early Sunday morning, locking my bedroom door because something told me I could avoid drama this way and send a clear message to him I wanted to be left alone, but when I woke up a few hours later, he was in my bed... he was asleep so I chose not to stir and wake him, but immediately felt an intense sense of "oh Fuck, why is he here and how did he get in?", and I (still sorta drunk) went back to sleep after assessing my body and realizing nothing happened (he didn't assault me). Another few hours pass and I wake up again. This time he's sleeping on my floor, in front of my bedroom door so I can't get out without waking him. I silently text my friend to let her know what's happening and he wakes up, crawls into my bed and then attempts to make conversation with me about how he's struggling to deal with our breakup. He's been telling my friends he loves me.. he cried at my roommate the night of her celebration and claimed he "just wanted to be near" me... ladies... we only dated for a total of 3 months... I don't know how to handle this. I feel equally relieved in the sense I THINK I dodged a bullet, yet terrified that because he's harboring major feelings for me that I'm not reciprocating, their might be another in the gun... he emotionally suffocated me during the short time we were together and I believe he is still trying to establish some semblance of dominance over my life... he seems desperate and on edge and though I've distanced myself quite a bit, I don't think he's dealing with the split... is it normal for someone to be this attached after only 3 months, without ever "consummating " the relationship? I don't think I can be friends with him anymore, because this was a major violation of boundaries. Anyone else deal with this before? I'm honestly a little terrified that I could completely unravel and start self sabotaging due to the stress of not knowing how to handle his unpredictability. My anxiety is through the roof. Every little sound I heard last night before bed made me think he was coming in my room again...