June of this year 2017 my husband and I had a miscarriage, this baby was in the sac and seen on the screen. We lost that baby and we were devastated.

We tried again this August, and it worked, first try. I couldn't believe it. I got a faint positive test September 8th and I was so happy, but hesitant, my husband was unsure it was really a line.

September 10th I started bleeding like a period and we were sure I was having a chemical pregnancy. We were heartbroken again. However, Monday I called my OB and he told me let's get a blood test.

September 12th I get the results and my HCG was 27 - low, he says probably not good but lets test again in two days. I also bled a clot. My OB said this wasn't good news.

September 14th - I get the news my numbers almost triple to 70. My OB is hopeful with the results. We are happy and shocked.

September 18th - HCG test again and its 209 - my OB is once again pleased and we are happy and bleeding has subsided. We decided to tell CLOSE family.

September 20th - HCG doubles again to 412 - OB says its going so well we can stop getting blood draws and wait until our ultrasound the following Tuesday.

September 24 - I am spotting a little, some brown blood, I call the on call OB - they say this can be normal don't worry. I wasn't in pain.

September 25 - bleeding stops

September 26 - go to my early ultrasound, I am thinking going off of when I got my first faint line and when I tracked ovulation and intercourse that I was at least 3 weeks 3 days conceptual, 5 weeks gestational and at most 4 weeks 3 days conceptual and 6 weeks gestational. I was prepared to just see the sac. We don't see a sac, but he also sees no bleeding in my belly, ovaries look well, and from what he can see tubes look well. He is not concerned yet, says this is normal for being 2 weeks along, but I cannot only be 2 weeks (conception) if I received a positive blood test and urine test almost 20 days ago. I am worried now. I got another HCG test to see the numbers again. I wouldn't get results until the following day.

September 27th - I am distraught and decide to take off work in preparation that I was going to get bad news. I am thankful I did, because the call I get at 9 am was that my HCG was only 1792 and it was supposed to be around 3,600 at that point. The OB said that was not viable and its ECTOPIC and I must take MX shot to absolve my pregnancy. I was DEVASTATED. I was and still am ANGRY. I threw things, cried on my knees, not understanding once again WHY? Last time I fell in the 25%, this time in the 1%?!!! 1 damn percent. What is wrong with my body? What is wrong with me? Why do we deserve this? Why is this our journey?! Why have they not invented something that can test for ectopic pregnancy in this day and age? Why do we have to wait around thinking our sweet babies are growing how they are supposed to, in the right place? Why do we get shattered after WEEKS of thinking everything is okay?! Why do we have the risk of having our tubes burst and dying?! I'm so sad, depressed, angry at so many things right now.

September 27 - I went and got that dumb shot and now I am just waiting for my body to absolve this pregnancy. Depressed and nothing else to say. I am numb.