i just want to vent....

i’m probly going to be all over the place but i don’t have nobody to talk to without it being other issues so here it goes... i’m married, been married 3+ years... its been amazing and hell at the same time... my husband is military so he deploys 6 months out the year.. anyways, lately, we’ve been fighting nonstop... i’ve stepped back and been looking at things differently.. we are always fighting about something ( as small as the dishes and as big as one of his friends sending a picture of some half naked bitch he’s banging ).... it just ranges. i feel like it’s a competition we are in, i feel like i can’t say something that’s bothering me without him putting it back on me and the same for him... the crazy thing is, i’m ready to go back home for a little while cuz maybe space will help us figure out if we even want this anymore.. i’m just confused. i love him and want to be with him but then again i love him and i don’t want to be with him.. i’m just lost. 😩 i have really bad anxiety from this relationship, i solely depend on him and have been... when we argue i feel at peace tho.. it’s crazy. i think my heart is changing but i don’t want to take any step then later regret it..