First appointment.

Tomorrow morning at 8 is my first doctors appointment following the loss of my 3rd child, and my first baby girl at 21 weeks gestation. I have some idea of what to expect, but I don't really have myself together enough yet to have a cohesive list of questions I should ask or expect answers to. I'd really appreciate some ideas from those of you who have experienced this before. To give you some idea, medically I am fine, I've had my first period since delivery, I'm not having any sort of complication, but emotionally I'm obviously mourning, and struggling a little bit to sort through my emotions. I only talk to my husband about it, and even then I somewhat edit myself- not because I can't trust him, or he wouldn't understand, but because I am personally afraid of losing myself in how I feel. I've been journaling, but even there I am really struggling to let it out, even in the privacy of my own mind. I do not want any sort of medications prescribed to me, I've not had any suicidal thoughts or ideations, but I don't know if it's normal to be unable to address and express my grief.