Trying to get pregnant in my 30s

Hi everyone, my first post here. 2017 has been a rocky year for me and my husband. We got married in February and than 7 weeks later, we were rushing to the hospital to discover that we were pregnant and had just miscarried our first child together. I suffered a ruptured fallopian tube that caused severe internal bleeding that could of killed me if I had not gotten into the hospital sooner. After finding out that we were pregnant from a urgent care doctor, and than just hours later being told that you miscarried, was too much to process. I had tried for 12 years to get pregnant. This was going to be my biggest dream coming true, after marrying my soul mate. I've been doing a lot of research to see what my chances of getting pregnant again would be after an ectopic pregnancy. My chances don't look too good. I stand a 10% chance of having another ectopic pregnancy or 25% of having a miscarriage. I'm heartbroken with the stats I've read. My husband says we can always adopt, and I know we plan on doing that one day, but I would give anything to give him a baby. It's hard for me some days at work and seeing women there pregnant. It's like 'what did you get so lucky, and I had to lose mine? Have I done something so bad in my life that I'm being punished for this?' I made a doctor's appointment a few weeks ago to see what test we can do to determine my chances of having a healthy pregnancy. Dr didn't do anything for me. He gave me birth control pills to get on (And I stopped taking them, they made me too emotional to do my job). And than he gave me a support group phone number to call if I needed someone to talk to. So much for trying to help me see about getting pregnant. I really feel as though I've done something in my life that is keeping me from having kids.