Depression in pregnancy

So earlier this year in January I found out I was having a miscarriage it really brought out the worst depression in me and my husband. Now I’m pregnant again and I’m due November 25th with a little girl and last night I came home after my pregnancy class, took a nap and when I woke up my husband told me that his cousin was in labor (she had the baby around 4 today) at that moment I just got so depressed and I was really sad. First thought that was on my mind was if I had never had a miscarriage our baby would be here already (September). Even though my cousin in law was due in October I was hoping she wouldn’t have her baby until her due date (the 25th) .. I’m happy for her but sad for myself (I haven’t told my husband because I don’t think he will understand) it’s our first child and first successful pregnancy. I have been so depressed since last night and I really want my baby to come early between 38-40 weeks if I have her at 41-42 weeks I feel like it will destroy me.

First time mom. How do I cope? How do I become more patient? Please help me. I feel so lost and alone. Most importantly I feel like a bad mom.