Please help. Can't have sex unless ovulating

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I've never dealt with sexual trauma of any kind but I have a really hard time with intercourse unless I'm ovulating. Unless I'm SUPER turned on, I have to try really hard and it hurts. It just feels like it's too big for me. And I don't know how to just relax and enjoy it.

Please help, I want to enjoy sex with my husband but it's never fun when it hurts or I have to try...