Giving up

I’ve officially given up on try to have a child, it’s been a year this month and I’m at so tired and frustrated and depressed with all of it. I see pregnant bellies everyday when I go to work and it just makes me extremely sad. My life goal is to be a mom but I don’t think I’m going to ever be blessed with a beautiful child of my own... I do believe everything happens for a reason but I would really like to know what the reason is that I haven’t been able to do the one natural thing my body is supposed to do! My husbands friend has a 3 month old and now they are pregnant again, not to mention they had a miscarriage before( 💔), but I just cant help myself when I get extremely enraged because I can’t even have one positive on a damn pregnancy test! I am extremely happy for them and all my other friends and all the other pregnant women out there but when will I get my chance 😭💔