Hate it!!!!

I literally hate myself so so much!! I just want to be smart and good at something!! I really am very dumb. I don't know hardly anything. I can't even do simple math anymore. Like not even simply subtraction. I still count on my fingers at 21. I can't remember like anything that I have been taught in school math wise and stuff. I am not good at anything. I suck at school so much that it's a waste to go to college because I struggle too much to pass and I can't get a better job then the crappy $8.00 an hour part time one I have now. My husband makes about $15 an hour at Walmart and loves his job and doesn't want to get a different one so we don't have enough to get a house and may never. We can't afford to have a child like I want. We are having to find a new place to live and will probably have to get rid of my dog and 2 cat's. I just hate myself. 100%.