Boy Rant but I so need Help

So I recently ended a 7 month relationship with my FWB/BF. The reason was because he became verbally abusive and stopped caring about my panic attacks. I found a knew guy who treats me amazing. I ended things with "J", my ex, and explained it all to him, how he treated me and everything. This was at the end of September. Last night/ today he confused he loves me and wants to marry me and the reason he did all that was because his grandma, who had raised him, died. I told him, because I love him, that it was still inexcusable and I would need time and need to see what a real relationship is like, as he was my first ever. He's okay with it, but tbh I don't think I can forgive him and I really care about my current BF, lately though my BF has been ignoring me and "forgot" about our date on Thursday. Idk if I need help or needed to rant, maybe both