I'm having a really bad day...

I'm 23 years old, and I've been depressed for almost 6 years. I've been through a lot, as I'm sure some of you have... but I just can't pick myself up off the ground anymore. I feel unwanted, ugly, and useless. Why am I still here?.... I feel like if I say the reason that sent me over the edge, I would sound so stupid. But I'm saying it anyway, so here goes....

A guy. Yes, a guy hurt my feelings. Big deal, right? I decided to take myself back to middle school and write him a letter telling him that I liked him. I didn't make it gushy or creepy, I just got right to the point. I also said in the letter that I wasn't expecting anything from him. I can't.

Why should I? I knew this was going to happen.

I gave the note to him Friday, and it's now Tuesday. I haven't heard a thing from him... I know, I wasn't expecting to. But having my fears turn into reality was enough to make me want to crawl under a rock... am I ugly? Am I not good enough? The smile you see on my face in the picture... I want it to be real. I want it to be because I have someone to call my own. Someone that I like.... but at this rate, it doesn't seem like it's ever going to happen. I have been rejected more than I can count on my two hands.... I give up.