Please read..

So i live in a house with my boyfriend and his brother and his brothers friend. His brother and his friend are drug addicts. My bf and I are clean. We dont do drugs or alcohol. His brother brings strangers to the house. He has a sawed off illegal shot gun he has been spray painting. We struggle to pay bills and most of the time his brother has to borrow money from his family to pay. His brothers friend doesnt pay anything. I'm always the problem. I havent worked for a while due to divorce, moving and more. I just got a job that I start in 2 weeks. The cable bill was due to be shut off tonight and we payed it last month (the min payment) nobody helped us pay it. (His brother or his friend didnt help). The electric has been shut off and they just leave us in the dark til we can pay it off then they come back when its turned on. I'm scared for my life now that he has this shot gun. I'm tired of being the one whos blamed for everything. I'm to the point where id rather die than live like this. My boyfriend doesnt understand why i feel like this.