I need a place to vent! 12wks & 4d Pregnant.

I don’t even know where to begin.

I’m currently 12wks & 4d Pregnant. This isnt my first pregnancy, but this is the farthest I’ve ever gotten. The sad part is. I’m pregnant with my rebounds baby.

I was in a long term relationship with the love of my life.. (Joe). Joe & i met in the 7th grade, we didn’t get together until senior year of high school. We moved in together when I turned 18.

We got pregnant right away, but lost our son. For 5 long years we tried to have another baby, it seemed impossible... it wasn’t until our last year together we finally decided to go to a fertility clinic.. a couple of days before my scan.. we split up... but we always came back to each other.. always.

I was upset about the whole situation, & myself believing I couldn’t get pregnant again.. I had a rebound night.. I didn’t talk to the rebound again until 6wks later when I found out I was pregnant. At that point i hadn’t talked to Joe in about 9ish wks..

joe & I had our whole future ahead of us.. our set wedding date just passed this September 💔

I find myself crying over him a lot, hoping & praying, we can be whole again.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby! I’m excited to bring this child into the world.. but I can’t help but beat myself down because I have that thought in my head that, “This was supposed to be Joe’s baby” 💔💔

I miss my best friend, my love, my soulmate.