I feel damaged

So I was sexually assaulted a year ago twice. I was also mentally and physically abused by multiple exes. I became a girl that had no dignity last year. By that I mean I wanted to fall in love and be the average 19 year old. Therefore i lost my virginity to someone I barely knew. I started meeting guys online. I was overall so desperate. I hate talking about it because I feel like a hoe. But I feel like I’ve changed now I tell guys that I don’t believe l will find love. I basically tell guys that I somewhat don’t believe in it. Well recently I met a new guy we’ve been talking for awhile on and off. He is in the marines he’s really nice. The problem is I’ve never met him in person. He lives almost an hour and a half away. He doesn’t drive or have a car. He is begging to meet up and FaceTime. But I’m honestly scared I feel like everything is gonna happen again.