I lost my mom a year ago to cancer. I was a complete mess, and watching to die didn't make things any easier. I had to see her get weaker every day to the point that she hard time to swallow just water. The last time she said anything to me was "I love" I looked at her, and said you don't have to say it. It was a struggle for to speak.

After that she just went into a comma state.

Before she got real bad, she had to be put on pain meds because he leg broke. The cancer got into her bone, and it broke just by turning her. She was put on pain meds, and it made her think I was getting married.

I think I clung onto because I knew I would never have this experience with her. When ever I thought of my wedding my mom is one thing that never changed. I don't have a sister, or a brother. Maybe it makes things harder.

My grandma lost all 3 of her kids. She just has my daughter, and I left.

My boyfriend asked me to marry him just after my mom's 6 months. Its my fault, because I pushed for it. I realized I was just dealing with my mom's death.

Them moments I always knew would be true, but would never happen. I would never experienced my mom helping me pick out my dress, or the stupid pointless arugment because we both stressed with last minute things.

Her looking at me when I put on the dress with tears in her eyes. I want them moments

I don't believe my boyfriend ever understand my grief. He would say things I know you miss your mom, but an engagement is a promise to each other.

During the first several months I would pick fights,because I was just so sensitive about things. It was hard because to matter what it would turn back into me saying no that I wasn't ready.

He would say 3 months should be enough time (it being 9 months after my mom passed)

I was good the last few months. I was really good, after my mom one years things slowly creeped back

He's never lost someone who was so close to him.

I've sat there crying telling him how I promise my mom that when she got better I was taking her on a shopping spree. How I was going to buy her all new clothes. That we were going to out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I don't think he truly even tired to understand my lost. How my world got turned upside down

I find myself questioning the relationship. I've told him a few times losing my mom was always one of my greatest fears. I miss her everyday.

After everything I don't know how I even feel about my relationship anymore