I feel so numb and lifeless all the time. My husband says he doesn't want to start trying for a family yet even though we don't use protection except the pull out method 🙄 and even that isn't all the time. So every month I hope for a little miracle only to be let down. This has been going on for almost a year now. I want a baby so bad and waiting is killing me especially since it's not like we're real careful anyway. So I just get my hopes up every freaking month to be let down. I have become obsessed with this even though my husband isn't on the same page. It makes it hard because I can't really share my feelings after a negative test or a period because he doesn't understand. He's happy we're not getting pregnant righ now. I can't help but feel absolutely crushed every single time. And he has noticed I am not myself lately. No matter how hard I try I can't just be happy which I realize is selfish but I can't help how I feel 😪 I'm 24 and wanted to be done having my kids before 30. I'm having this mid 20 crisis freaking out that maybe we will have infertility issues and maybe the time will never "be right" but he just doesn't understand. Idk what to do. I'm just feeling down 😒