Let me start by saying I'm 22 soon to be 23 and haven't had a libido since I was 19 just after I gave birth to my first child. I've felt like it's my fault that my marriage is failing because me and my husband don't have sex often. Because of this he has gone out and found other women to fulfill his needs (I've forgiven for that). When we do have sex I try my hardest to make it like before kids and before the libido went MIA but he can tell I'm really not into it. It still hurts to have sex as well. Amongst the other issue I'm not a fan of masturbation. If he wants to by all means but I don't want to know about it, dont do it next to me, near me, or where I'll find out about it. With that I don't like porn or sex toys. (I think this whole issue might be due to I have long history of molestation and rape and never really got the help I needed). I'm now 8 almost 9 months pregnant with baby #2, still no drive or want to have sex. Around the time I found out I was pregnant my husband asked me about getting a fleshlight, I said no, I even begged him not to get one. He went out and got it anyway. I'm hurt and disgustedabout it because I've tried multiple times so far in this pregnancy to try and initiate sex but he's turned me down completely. Then I found his toy and I know why, he's used it, more than he's has me. What hurts me about it is an exact replica of some other woman's vagina and it's made tighter for a more virgin feel. For an obvious reason, I feel betrayed. I'm trying to give him yet another chance but I cant wrap my head around having sex with him any more. Any time I think about trying it I get physically sick to my stomach. What can I do to fix this?