It’s hitting hard today.

As I stare down at my stark white BFN for another month I can’t help but feel defeated. I have tears running down my face but no one will ever know. I put up a happy face and act like it doesn’t bother me but it hurts so bad. I can’t help but feel like a failure. Like it will never happen for me. I just want to curl in a ball and forget the world. Forget my infertility and my pain. But instead I’ll paste on a smile and go back to reality. Pretending I’m not broken on the inside.