Rant on C-Section Shaming😒😤 (long) UPDATE***

I just have to say I’m SO tired of seeing moms on here shame women who get planned C-Sections WHATEVER their reason might be. Why does it matter to other women how or why a baby is removed from someone ELSES body. I spent 55 days in antepartum before I had my planned C-Section at 34+3 and my daughter weighed 5lbs 4oz and 17.3 inches long. I am a first time mom and I have NEVER been in labor. I wasn’t there for a placental abruption, broken waters, short cervix, or preterm Labor. I was there for 2X daily fetal monitoring and 2x a week ultrasounds for one of the rarest conditions of pregnancy there is called TRAP. TRAP is where a dead identical twin continues to grow into a disformed being because my daughter pumped it blood and there’s a 50%-90% mortality rate because of the incredibly high risk of heart failure for my daughter and only occurs around 5 times a year as there’s ONLY a 1 in 40,000 chance of having it. I was admitted 8/29 and did not get to walk out of there until 10/27 I had my daughter 9 days ago and she is currently still in the NICU but doing MUCH better as her left lung collapsed the day after I had her but she is off breathing assistance now. We got her out in time to have NO heart issues and if try to google this condition you will find two or so cases where the pregnancy resulted in a living baby. I didn’t get to see my baby for 16 hours, touch her for 3, or hold my own baby for 6 days. Around 30 weeks we planned my c section because had I tried to deliver the second twin that had become a deformed mass with no human features I would have ripped my cervix open and bled to death. Anytime I came on to a post here that said “when are you due/delivering” I would say “Planned C-Section at 34+3 💜 and EVERYTIME someone had to go on there and SHAME me for having a planned C-Section or for when we were delivering. I just wanted to be excited I would get to have my baby safely after the MONTHS I spent in the hospital. I don’t want to have to explain EVERYTIME that we were doing it because I had her dead deformed sister continuing to grow inside my womb next to her and that my healthy baby might have died too. Why couldnt people let me be excited? My daughter is lucky to be alive let alone get to wait until 34+3 to be delivered! We were told to expect 28 weeks when I was admitted at 26+4 depending on how good she looked. Obviously NO doctor would deliver a baby at 34+3 just for fun!! So why shame me or anyone?!?! I LOVED my C-Section even though I was terrified of it and wanted a natural birth. I cried for the MONTH leading up to my surgery because I wanted SO bad to have a vaginal birth. It was organized/quick/and extremely intimate moment with my husband when I looked up and saw his face when they pulled her out of me that I will always cherish. I recovered amazingly and it was not NEAR as bad as a recovery as I thought, I feel amazing at 9 days PP. Some women are delivered early for GD or cholestasis or a million other reasons or have a planned C-Section because they’ve had one before or whatever and shouldn’t be shamed! I had such a good experience that even though I was considering a VBAC I’m going to do ANOTHER C-Section whenever we decide to have our second child! If you didn’t put that baby inside a woman, aren’t the one giving birth, or the one helping deliver that baby keep your nose out of other people vaginas and let them be excited about their baby! I cry everyday because I have to go home without my baby and had I been able to prevent all of this I would have. Stop shaming women on the delivery of their babies!! 😒😤

First time they let me hold her 6 days PP

*****Honestly this is the first post I’ve ever made that makes me want to delete this app. I came into this app in worst time of my entire life to seek support and learn from other women’s experiences. I am astonished at the amount of people condoning the shaming and saying I was seeking negative attention. I posted on the “When are you Delivering” posts because I was excited that I might actually get to meet my baby unlike all other other mothers that have had TRAP. I am very thankful I did. She shouldn’t have lived, but she did and I will never take being her mother for granted. If any of you can’t tell I already have had enough negativity in my life the last 10 weeks.... I had to grow and carry my dead baby that when I delivered looked like a monster, who is currently at the funeral home awaiting cremation, and hope she didn’t kill my living daughter. I woke up every morning terrified they wouldn’t be able to find Delilah’s heartbeat on the monitor. Even now as I lay typing this my baby girl is 45 minutes away in the NICU as I lay in my bed with a feeding tube and oxygen after having just got over a collapsed lung. I’ve only been aloud to hold her for a week... I wouldn’t actively seek it out. I went and commented on there excited just like any other mother, but I guess that’s not okay. I was just seeking negative comments apparently. I in fact was posting to be excited as I was laying in my hospital bed for 59 days counting down the days until I got to meet my miracle baby. To all those saying I shouldn’t get “mad” when people get curious-please go scroll my page and you will find many many posts where I explained it to those that were curious. Curiosity is natural and I have no issue explaining TRAP, but the shaming no. Which is what this post was about. I don’t know why it matter to someone else how or why a woman has her baby whether it be medicated/water birth/unmedicated/c section/homeborth, etc I don’t care if you had a c section to keep your cootchie tight or because it was medically necessary, because unless you are one recovering from that delivery it shouldn’t matter to you. If you defend shaming you are no better than the one doing the shaming. We are all mothers no matter how we deliver, and being a mom is hard enough without all the negativity...