Need to vent

So last week I went in to my doctors appointment and I was suppose to be 16 weeks this was my fourth pregnancy I have three healthy beautiful babies. As soon as the doctor put the machine on me I always look for a heartbeat 😔 and when she did I didn’t see anything my heart broke the doctor moved and moved it and no movement I lost my baby it stopped growing at 13 weeks. I had gone to the doctor at 8 weeks and my baby had a strong heartbeat and was fine. My heart broke. I cried so much the doctor calmed me down explained that I did nothing wrong that it happens I don’t know how I’ve had three good pregnancy’s and this happens I was so sad. I had no signs no cramping no bleeding nothing I felt fine. As soon as I left the doctor I called my husband he had just got deployed and I called him crying telling him then I called my mom. So later on my cousin calls me cuz I told her that I lost my baby and she is so sad for me and asks what was going to happen next so I told her my doctor recommended a d and c. And the nerve of my cousin to tell me that that’s what they did to her when she got an abortion! I lost it I went off on her and told her yeah but u chose that for your baby!i would never in a million years do that to my baby! Ever! Ugh I wanted to punch her so bad I was so mad that should would compare that to my losing my baby I never tell her shit about her choice she made but don’t come at me with that shit made me so sad and mad! My heart still hurts that this happened and I will never know why😔 I’m trying to move On but I cant.