I regret ever recovering from anorexia

I gained weight for someone who didn't care about me whether I was grossly underweight or at a healthy weight and then I got cancer looking titties with the orange peel skin and I just don't get why everyone else fucks with me when all I did was take phentermine to lose the weight after I gained it. I hate how nobody understands what it's like when your ex boyfriends ex girlfriend tries to trigger you and then everyone tells you to join a band but I don't want to. Being vegan or being at a healthy weight doesn't fix my problems. My ex boyfriends ex girlfriend called me chubby at 127 lbs and she'd fucking attack me and try to drive me to suicide when I gained weight when my father died. I hate how when I was skinny, everyone wanted me to look like a big titted pornstar and then when I forced myself to eat and my intestines shut down and I had to eat and drink the nasty protein shit my stomach was in severe pain, my hair looked like shit, my nails started to bend and my complexion looked terrible. At 130-140 lbs I got scars all on my arms and I refused to not wear a hoodie, my titties looked like shit and then my ex was sleeping in bed with his ex, but he'd tell me to gain weight and when I finally did she fucking attacked me and took his phone and cursed me out knowing I had been anorexic for years. I had never bullied another girl for being fat and I protected my fat friends but my ex Matts friend Rhianna put me down for being nice to fat Ariel when she was fat and despite the fact that I had stomach problems she looked down on me. I always got treated like the dumbass of the group, that was nice so everyone treated me like shit. So after my ex Matt and I broke up, I lost weight and took phentermine and didn't beg for my ex Matt back not even one time, or call and harass him like his ex because I respected his boundaries and then the idiots trolled me online knowing Imm anorexic. They keep comparing me to this fat guy Gene who's ex gf left him for his best friend, but I never had a best friend and I've been cheated on more than him at a younger age by more than one guy. In addition to that I took the phentermine and lost weight and I didn't get jealous of anyone else, but the idiots decided to troll me online by posting pictures of an asshole in an angry beavers tshirt making fun of me and calling me a lesbian, because my ex is into drag, they also had one of their friends texting me and calling me trying to piss me off, someone reactivated my old phone that was linked to an expired credit card and my ex messaged me trying to intentionally piss me off and he tried to argue with me and say that I'm borderline when him and his ex show signs of that. They both attacked me and triangulated things when I dated him and his friend Rhianna got jealous of me when I was skinny when I was the only one who didn't laugh when her exes ex talked shit and everyone else told embarassing stories. Why? Because I am not a bulimic but I've always had anorexia due to stomach problems and I had a shit life. So my question is what the hell do i do now? I always get fucking annoyed and I don't care to do singing or dancing anymore. I always get trolled online and pranks pulled on me. So now what the fuck do I do? Whenever I get fucking skinny, guys with girlfriends all try to fuck me, then the girls get jealous even though it's not my fault and I won't go for it and then I fucking can never have a boyfriend that appreciates me. They always used me for money.