Miscarried for the 3rd Time

I just need to vent and possibly rant a little bit. Sorry if this isn’t allowed. But I would love to know if anyone else feels like this and if it is normal. I had a miscarriage last September. I was raped and got pregnant because of it. I would say I didn’t really want the baby but still a part of me did. I kept that one hidden from everyone. I never fully grieved that one I would say since I just stuffed it down. In June my husband and myself suffered a miscarriage of our twins. I got over that one and kept going. Then in October I found out I had another miscarriage. I’m just now getting over that. Is it okay to still miss all of my babies? Is it okay to feel like this?