Why am I so upset?

Question

My partner needs to go to the doctor today. We are already out so I thought I would come along. Since he always come with me to my doctor appointments. His mom called and asked if I was coming and he instantly said no and that he would drop me off. Like why can’t I come?
He invites himSelf to mine. I never really ask if he wants to come he just does. I guess we’re used to going to my appointments together. But he always like to do things on his own. I know when he doenst want me there. He could tell I was kind of like “why can’t I come” so he asked if I wanted to but I said no because I know when he doesn’t want me around. I just know. I know pretty well. So why should I?

Answer

Does he invite himself to your appointments or do you ask him to come along? The idea of having someone at an appointment with me is weird.

Answer

My husband has me go to his but only because he can’t remember half of what the doctor says... but he never comes to mine. But I think I would have reacted the same way you did. If he wanted me there he would have asked. And he only asked bc he would sense that he “should” ask.

Answer

your not doing him or yourself any favors by hiding how you feel. he asked if you wanted to go. you should have used that as an opprotunity to say yes I would like to be there. you made it worse by not telling him because now it's just a festering problem for you and him thinking you don't want to go. let him know you are a team and you appreciate him being there for you at your appointments even if it's not necessary and would like to be there for his when you can be rather than be excluded. your concerned about him and sometimes it helps having someone else there to catch things that maybe he doesn't when the Dr is talking to him or just be there for support. but let him know how you feel. I do all my Dr appointments alone and I am ok with it but would like for my SO to be there, he just can't because he is at work when I have mine and they aren't anything he needs to really be at so I won't have him miss work for it. for him in with him all the time because he is more comfortable with me being there since he has a hard time remembering what the Dr says or what it means so I'm his extra set of ears and I remember things to ask about better than he does. that's our dynamics. but for you, you need to tell him how you feel and that yes as his wife you want to be included.

Why am I so upset?

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