Hello all,

Before I make the biggest mistake of my life and drastically affect my daughter's, I need the advice, opinions, facts and real life ordeals from women who have been in my shoes. Please comment below any and all of my concerns I need someone to shed light on:

1) how much was the non custodial parent of your child ordered to pay in child support?

2) if unmarried and no birth certificate signed, how long did the process take with your cooperation to get the child support order?

3) does the father actually pay the ordered child support?

4) what state is your CS case opened?

5) did your state dhs help/intervene with visitation?

6) knowing what you know now, was it worth it? Would you proceed the same way if given a chance do it all again?

I know I'm asking a lot. But please, I'm scared. I'm heart is breaking for my daughter. I got pregnant with a man I didn't know well, he wanted me to abort, I went my entire pregnancy alone and am raising her 100% on my own. Now he is contacting me with a vengeance. I know CS and custody are 2 different things but the moment I establish paternity, which has to be done in order to receive CS, he will then have parental rights and be entitled to petition for custody and visitation. I'm stick to my stomach. This man is not a good person and would do this in spite of me.

He has denied his daughter, kept her a secret from his entire family and has never met her, but now wants to pop up and fly to OK to start the DHS process. I'm frightened. So before I fail to cooperate with child support office, because they would inevitably mandate a DNA test, and his name would be added to the birth certificate, is the amount you receive each month even worth dealing with someone for the next 18 years????