Married but bi

I’ve been married to great guy for almost 3 years, I️ don’t regret it or anything, but part of me wishes I️ could’ve been with a girl at least once before settling down.

My dad is a Baptist pastor so growing up it was drilled into my head that being gay or wanting to be with a member of the same sex was a sin punished by hell and eternal damnation, so I️ pushed down the feelings I️ had towards girls and ignored the crushes I️ had on some of my friends, convinced it was the devil trying to tempt me... then I️ got older and started thinking for myself and accepted that this was part of me and God loves me for me.

It’s still confusing for me at times cause I’ll be fine then I’ll look at a girl and think holy hell shes cute and turn into a blushing high schooler. I’ve only told a few close friends that I’m bi( and my ex accidentally, his reaction was how do you know you’re bi and I’m like... I’m sexually attracted to girls and guys thanks) but could never tell my family.

Anyways, I️ just wish I️ could’ve been with a girl before marrying my husband as I’m super curious as to what it’d be like.

My husband does know I’m bi and he doesn’t really care, he did give me a free pass to sleep with a girl but on the condition he can watch, and I’m really not comfortable with that so it’ll probably never happen. Sorry for the long winded post, I️ just could never say this stuff anywhere else.