First kiss: 18 years old. Summer before college. I was really trying to avoid this kiss because I wasn’t totally sure if I liked him. I kept shooting him down for awhile, like one night he longboarded to my house (after I told him not to) and told me to come outside because he wanted to “do something” before he left on this trip he was going on for a week or so. But I was like uhhhh nooooo I’m in my pajamas soo... anyway I was driving this kid home another night and I knew he was going to try and kiss me. I was super anxious and I when I pulled into his driveway I was like “uh good night! See ya later” and I wouldnt look at him 😂 but then this guy takes my fuckin phone, gets out of the car and comes around to my side of the car. I roll my window down and he’s like “want your phone back? you can have it for a kiss” or some shit like that. It was a blubbery peck on the lips. That’s pretty much all I can say about it. I never kissed him again.

My second kiss wasn’t too much better either...

Second kiss: I actually really liked this guy and I was usually pretty nervous around him. I was a freshman in college, watching some comedian on Netflix, awkwardly sitting on the floor with this boy. He kept rubbing his face up against mine and was trying to get me to turn towards him. At this point I’m freaking the fuck out because the only kiss I’d experienced was the aforementioned car window kiss. He somehow gets me to turn my face to him and then just starts kissing me and I WAS LITERALLY FROZEN. My lips did not move a little bit while this guy was trying so hard lemme tell ya. It still hurts to think about 😂 never kissed him again either. (BONUS: one of my best friends at the time started seeing him behind my back!)

So onto the THIRD kiss. I was drunk and don’t remember it. This one wasn’t forced or through a car window, so it already takes the cake. Still isn’t a winner though because I have almost no recollection of it besides my friend telling me we were basically suckin face at this party.

Honestly bless you if you read all this too. I’m only now realizing how shitty these guys were in comparison to my current boyfriend, who did not care at all that I was a nervous wreck when we kissed (my fourth kiss) and he even asked me if he could kiss me!!! There’s my happy ending. ☺️