Post-partum Depression but they’re not my kids?

Question

So here’s a little backstory to help you better understand what I’m asking. Sorry it’s so long. 
I babysit my sisters 4 kids full time & I’m currently 32 weeks with my first child. The children are 23 months old, 4 years old, 5 years old & 9 years old. I normally only have the 23 month old & the 4 year old all day because the older 2 are in school but there was a 2 week long vacation, then the week they went back to school they had a 3 day weekend & this week they had a 3 day weekend. You’d think things would get easier having the older ones around but it doesn’t. It makes it 1000% times worse. The 9 year old is very disrespectful & will literally fight me in everything & the 5 year old is a follower, so she sees her sister being disrespectful & starts in too which causes the 4 year old to do it as well. The 9 year old has had me so upset that I had contractions at 31 weeks. The 23 month old for the most part is an angel for a toddler if there ever was such a thing, but has type 1 diabetes we’re still trying to get under control. His insulin doses are still being moved around to see what works best. Depending on what his blood sugar is he can get very moody & just sit there & scream for the sake of screaming. So to put things bluntly & get straight to the point: I am completely in over my head. I am overwhelmed. Stressed out to the maximum. 
I am to the point where I hate waking up in the morning. I cry because my alarm goes off & that means it’s time to get up & get the 5 year old & 9 year old off to school. I don’t want to look at the children & I feel like fucking monster because no one, especially a pregnant woman, should hate to even look in the general direction of their family. I’m a very family oriented person so to hear the words “I don’t even want to be around them” come out of my mouth last night when talking to my fiancé scared the ever living shit out of me & I know something is wrong with me. I don’t know if it’s just the stress or if it’s something like PPD. I wonder all the time how good of a mother I’ll be or if I can even handle the stress of a newborn if I can’t even handle 4 kids on my own. I love my daughter more than anything in the world but I’m terrified how I’ll handle having her AND babysit 4 kids at the same time. 
I love my nieces & nephews & I hate that I feel so disconnected from them because we used to all have an amazing relationship before I started watching them. I couldn’t wait to come over & see them before this. & now I can’t wait to go home to get away...
Is it possible to have PPD even though your own child hasn’t even been born yet? I need help.

Answer

It's not post partum depression. It's stress plus being pregnant. It doesn't make it less valid,  but post partum depression is specifically related to hormonal shifts after giving birth. However, I don't foresee this arrangement working well, especially when you're going to have a newborn soon. Winter break, spring break, and summer will be here before you know it. You don't want to resent your nieces and nephews. I have 3 kids going on 4, and it's definitely more stressful when my older 2 are home from school. But they're my kids so I can discipline them the way I want and implement consistent rules. You're in a different position.  It may be best to start talking to your sister about making other arrangements.

Answer

Firstly remember that they are not your kids. Taking on someone else's children for along period of time is very stressful and difficult when you really have no say in discipline and how they are being raised. I would talk to your sister about how your are feeling and that this maybe a lot to ask someone that  needs to prepare to be a new mom.

Answer

PPD is exactly what it says. Postpartum depression since you haven’t given birth it’s not that. Honestly I don’t think you even have regular depression (I have it). I think you’re just extremely stressed. Maybe to can get extra help after giving birth?

Answer

It's stress and being asked too much of. I have only 2 kids and sometimes get overwhelmed with their needyness. You need to set boundaries and if this is the job you plan on keeping then you might need some help. especially when your baby comes you don't want to risk actually getting PPD. It's a very serious thing and you need to watch out for your own health.

Answer

For the sake of your mind and health you should really stop babysitting

Answer

Prenatal Depression is a lot more common than people think, I had it. Also you are caring for them full time. I was a nanny for along time before having my own. In my experiences caring for other people's children full time is very similar to caring for your own, except you have as much responsibility but not as much authority so that part can be more stressful. You are trying to match as closely as possible to someone else s decisions and choices. For example if I am not feeling well I will do less and maybe cancel some plans, only focus what absolutely needs to be done that day. When I was a nanny I would just "power" though it because the parents have already payed for the dance lessons or what ever. When to step in for discipline is an easier decision as a parent because I am not trying to guess what someone else would do or want me to do.

Answer

You need to let your sister know she needs to find a different sitter for her kids once you have your baby. You want to have at least a good 10 - 12 weeks if just you and the new baby. Plus when you have a baby you have to take it easy over doing it can harm your body. 
Then after you and your baby have adjusted and if you feel like you could add the two younger once back in your life then do that. Tell her she needs to find someone else to watch older kids as it's to much stress in your life right now.

Answer

wouldn't be PPD but stress for sure. that's a lot for someone to handle who isn't pregnant let alone someone in their 3rd trimester. you should definitely talk to your sister about how you're feeling, and should definitely take time off once you have your baby.

Answer

If you think you can handle all that and a newborn you are really in for a nightmare. Getting used to a new baby, especially your first, is going to take lots of time and energy. I would plan on taking a few weeks off after you have the baby. Sounds like you could use ( or your sister could) use a nanny’s helper for the older children. It’s too much for you and would be for almost anyone. Don’t feel bad. You have those days, moments in time with your own children. I don’t think you have depression of any sorts, just stressed and at your limit. It’s not worth the safety of the baby. You need to make a change, listen to your body.

Answer

It’s definitely the stress!! I’d hate having to be around them too! Especially with the lot being so disrespectful. With your kids it’ll be different because you will raise them differently. You need to talk to your sister about getting them under control or finding a new sitter. This is wayyyy to much stress for you and the baby. You two come first. 
This is also why I’ve come to realize that I hate other people’s kids. My kid I can handle and have all the patience in the world. But right now he’s all I can handle. When I have my step daughter with us and my husband is working, I feel like I’m going to loose my mind! And she’s really not eve that bad of a kid, she just wasn’t raised to my standards and it causes friction. 
You and your sister need to find a way to get their attitudes under control ASAP or find a substitute because your health comes first.

Post-partum Depression but they’re not my kids?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey