Even on just this app, I’ve seen so many ladies that are in emotionally /physically abusive relationships and I just want to hug every single one of you. I want all of you to know that even though you may feel like you’re trapped forever, you’re not. You can get out. And some of you may be thinking, “oh but it’s not that simple, I can’t just up and leave” or “I love him so much, I can’t do that”. Honey, him laying his hands on you in an intent to harm; is not love. Him taking his anger out on you, regardless if you caused it or not; is not love. I know that depending on the situation, it isn’t as simple as just saying “bye I don’t wanna be in this anymore”, but I’m telling you from experience it can be done. You can get away. You can be free.

Now, my story..

It was around Christmas 2016 when I met my ex boyfriend, let’s call him, Jake. We were both 17, seniors in high school. I did my senior year online, he went to physical school. He also lived maybe half an hour away with traffic, so not far at all. At first Jake was amazing, most perfect boyfriend in the world. He treated me like royalty. We were both amazingly supportive of each other. Then around 4 months of dating once we got more comfortable with each other and once I got my first job, that was when he started to show his true colors. My first day at work, he would get pissed when I said that I was at work and couldn’t talk. That in turn morphed into a fight and I told him I would text him when I got home because I didn’t want to get in trouble at work. He would dictate who I could and could not talk to. He demanded that every weekend be spent with him, even if I didn’t want to. I wasn’t allowed to do anything that involved leaving my house unless I told him where I was going and who I was with. He would get pissed when I said I didn’t want to have sex because I wasn’t ready. (He had had sex a few times with an ex when he was 15/16 before I met him, so I’m assuming he just expected it in our relationship.) He would get annoyed when I would not respond instantly and would demand I texted him 24/7 unless I was sleeping, but it was perfectly fine for him to take a at the least a few minutes to respond.

A little after our one year, I tried 2 times to break up with him and he would cry and say that he couldn’t live without me and that he would kill himself if I ever left. I knew that he would be fine and he knew that too, he was just talking shit to get me to stay, which worked...for a little. A few weeks later I finally was able to end it because at this point I was BEYOND sick of his shit.

Girls, if ANYONE tells you that they’re going to kill themselves if you leave their life, chances are is that they are only saying that to manipulate you into staying in their life even though you do not want to. Also, sex is never, ever mandatory in a relationship so don’t let anyone ever make you feel like it is.