Is a Grandma Baby Shower a thing now?

Question

So my MIL is awful, but we moved 8 hours away so there’s less drama now. Anyways, my hubby and I are the first of her kids to have a baby, so she’s super excited, which I can appreciate. But last month she went out, registered, planned, and threw herself a baby shower and called it a Grandma Shower. She got all the stuff you normally get at a baby shower - toys, diapers, stroller, crib, etc. 
Not gonna lie, I’m pretty pissed. Maybe it’s just hormones, but I feel like she is making my pregnancy about her. Like she’s the one who is carrying the baby, who vomited for the first 12 weeks non stop, who cries for no reason cause hormones, who is in constant aches and pains, etc. 
And on that note, these are people who would have been invited to our baby shower later on. Like they wanna buytwo presents? Especially when they bought her big ticket items like a crib. 
Am I being selfish for her being excited and doing this or is she trying to make it about her and made this whole Grandma Shower thing up?
She is the type of woman to make things about her. We use to be close until my husband and I got engaged. Then when things weren’t about her at the wedding (for the record she was included - planning, prepping, shopping) she decided she didn’t like me and called my hubs every week crying to him about how she felt left out

Answer

I've heard of it before but it's usually for a first time grandmother who is going to be providing a lot of child care and over nights (essentially to have two of everything one at the parent's house and one at the grandmother's house). She shouldn't have been throwing that for herself and separately, it's not usually a family thing or with people that would be at the new-mother's shower. I've seen it with coworkers or church communities mostly. Everyone pitches in money for one or two bigger items if they want to, but the gifts are usually small things (like grandparenting books, photo albums, or clothing/diapers) and there aren't usually registries or anything like that because the crib and the stroller or car seat are all mommy's choice. They are also usually done in the home, not a restaurant or anything. And they are never, NEVER before the Mother's big moment. I'm sorry that your MIL is a selfish and manipulative individual. I do think your husband should mention to her that she hurt you and that she hurt him with her blatant disregard for HIS feelings. He doesn't have to make a big thing out of it but it sounds like you need to set some ground rules BEFORE the baby comes. Wishing you the best of luck, a healthy baby and a happier pregnancy for the rest of the time until you're a mommy!

Answer

Your husband needs to address this, not you.  He needs to express to her how dismayed you both are at her behavior and how odd and selfish it is.  
Traditionally you won't be throwing your own shower anyhow (that's in bad taste), so whomever throws it for you may have to field the inquiries from people who bought MIL gifts already.  
Truthfully, if I ever received an invite to a "grandma shower" I'd decline it or send yarn to knit the baby something, that's the only gear grandma needs. I can't understand how people would participate in that especially when they haven't been to the expectant mothers baby shower yet.  
Do you best not to let it get to you, and remember, a shower isn't a requirement to have a baby. So, in the end you and your husband are solely responsible for the needs of baby, it's not of people to throw a shower and it sucks she was the recipient of it but really, it doesn't matter because it's something you two are responsible for anyhow.

Answer

Your husband seriously needs to say something to her. That was wildly inappropriate and is in no way ok. I keep my mouth closed about my MIL but I swear to Christ and Cthulhu if she did some shit like that, I would have something to say. It’s not her child, she doesn’t need anything for a baby. She should be thankful to be in that kids life. She raised her kids, she needs to back off.

Answer

I'd kill her.

Answer

I've heard of these before, the fact that she threw it herself is kinda weird, it's normally the gramfriends that throw it for their new grandma friend. I think it's cute, unnecessary, but cute I guess...just leave me out of it haha

Answer

My mother has a grandma coffee that is after the baby is born so you have to drive the hours to her house so her friends can have brunch and pass around your newborn. Makes me feel like an incubator, wouldn't really matter if I was there or not.

Answer

No lie i wud b very very upset he shud tell her that ws really inappropriate to do that’s a special moment for you and him it’s y’all first bby she is wrong and I️ honestly dnt thnk i wud tlk to her anymore smh

Is a Grandma Baby Shower a thing now?

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