Should I be bothered? Need some honest advice.

Question

Hey lady’s so I have my first OB app 11/20. My fiancé has already told his boss at work so he can leave early to be with me. Well today he told his mom about our first app and right away she got excited and said she wants to go, his sister that was there also said that she and her wife want to go as well... Now I’m glad that they are excited about this and they want to be involved but idk how I feel about them coming to our very first app... TBH I don’t have a relationship with them yet because my fiancé works so much so he never goes around them a lot there for I don’t either. I don’t have a problem getting to know them because that is his family but the first app is the longest and IF they do a sonogram obviously it’ll be the vaginal one and that just seems a little more Intimate and for 5 people who don’t know much about me and me them to just be there all shoved in a doctors room...idk.. Am I overreacting? How should I handle this. I feel if I tell him this he will get upset and thing that I am trying to not let them be involved or not wanting to establish a bond with them. Will the doctor even allow that many people in a room with us?

Answer

I have a good relationship with my mother in law and I still wouldnt want her to come to that with me. Tell him that this is a doctor's appointment, not a family get together so you just want him there with you but you'd be happy to have lunch or dinner with his family afterwards to discuss whatever went on during the appointment

Answer

Um... no? Let me say that again- NO. The office won't allow it anyway. It's unsafe, unsanitary and tbh, kind of WEIRD.

Answer

They should nooot be in there! The ultrasound will probably be vaginal. Awkward!

Answer

They ask a lot of person questions in the first visit. Plus they examine you as well. I'd feel awkward being half naked in front of my in laws.

Answer

I would tell your fiancé you’re not comfortable with everyone being in there with you. Besides, it should be a special moment between the two of you. And hello, yes! Awkward!!! And those rooms are damn small! No way would they want all of those people. Normally there’s two guest chairs in those rooms. I️ doubt you’ll want them perched on the exam table with you! 
Maybe suggest they can go to the appointment, but they have to stay in the waiting room during the exam.

Answer

In my opinion.....I would tell them you want it to be only you and your fiancé. They may get their feelings hurt, but it’s a special time for you two. Only invite those you feel comfortable having in the room with you. For your first appointment they will ask a lot of medical history questions which may make you uncomfortable discussing that in front of his family. You could tell them you will update them after the appointment(s) as a compromise.

Answer

No they don’t need to go. Lord they can wait till the baby is born. This is something for you and your hubby.

Answer

Yeah the room the do the first one is isn't big at all and just tell your husband that they stick a wand up your vag and you don't feel like having everyone and their mother seeing lol.

Answer

I would just be honest with them and tell them you aren't wanting anybody but your SO there. I'm sure they'll understand.

Answer

I’ve been with my fiancée for almost 3 years and I know his mom very well but those appointments are pretty personal and we did not invite his mom. She wants to come to the appointment next week when we will find out the gender and I flat out said no. This is my first pregnancy my first child and I want it only to be me and my fiancée. All I said to my fiancée was tell your mother no and that was the end of that. It’s not that I’m mean I just want my privacy and to enjoy this moment with my fiancée and no one else.

Should I be bothered? Need some honest advice.

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