weight struggles

I just need to complain. I'm 200 pounds, I have body dysmorphia, severe dwppresion, and eating disorder, etc etc. my mom doesn't care. she literally a model, then and beautiful. all my life, I've had my crushes care more about how pretty my mom is and never even notice me. she doesn't understand how bad I'm hurting. I'm starving right now and she doesn't care. I threw up two hours ago and she doesn't care. I want to go somewhere that she isn't here. I'm so stressed my hair is falling out. I feel like such a huge disappointment. I was so cute as a kid, skinny and tiny. now I'm just someone that I don't even recognize. I've let everyone down and I feel so alone. I'm sorry and I know this will probably be taken down but I deed to let this out.