Only time I feel love

So I’m in a relationship and for the most part it’s kinda ok? I mean there’s a lot of work to be done. My boyfriend is a straight up asshole and knows it. Now I’m an asshole too but not to my boyfriend. I genuinely do and say sweet things and he either takes it as sarcasm or just doesn’t show appreciation. I only ever see him when he needs something. The only time I feel love from him is when we’re fucking. I try to be affectionate but he just looks at me like wtf are you doing. We don’t kiss unless it’s a kiss goodbye. I’m at this point in life where I need love and affection. I want to be cuddled and kissed on and have sweet things said to me. I’ve told him what I need but I don’t think he hears me. Sadly I’ve tried to break up with him tried to do things to make him leave me but he won’t. I don’t know why he’s keeping me around. I’m tired of being his doormat

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