More pumping problems for preemie

India

I have a premature baby born 25+5, September 8, 2017. I’ve came a long way & I’ve quit twice b/c people, like nurses & the Internet, keep discouraging me, saying I’m not producing enough milk. My son eats 4 times a day, 45 mL, & I average an oz a day. I generally make 8 oz a day sometimes less.

I just started power pumping a week ago & does it EVERYDAY, & the only time I get a lil more milk (at least 1.5 oz) is WHEN I power pump. So the 2 hours after that, it’s back to 1 dumb ass oz & sometimes less. I drink a lot of water by default so that’s no problem. I drink Mother’s Milk Tea 3 times a day. I make my own lactation cookies. I pump every 2 hours for 15 minutes during the day & every 3 hours overnight for 15 minutes even at work. I can’t nurse him b/c I’m always at work & by the time I get there, he’s already fed. Yes, I spoke to a LC & she tells me the same useless shit. Yes, I’m massaging. Yes, I’m using a hospital grade pump. Yes. I took Fenugreek. Anything y’all would mention, I. DID. IT.

The point is: As of yesterday, I quit pumping in the middle of pumping while I was reading how little I was pumping. & now I’m at work w/ no pump w/ me so now I’m guilty. Can anyone please tell me something GOOD about formula besides “it’s fake af & not real milk”, “it’s not as healthy for preemie”, “it gets better once he comes home” blah blah blah... I’m tired of feeling guilty & stressed out

Please don’t tell me what I wanna hear.