How do I tell my bf I don't want sex?

Question

I'm in a long distance relationship. I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month, but I will on Tuesday. What is the best way for me to tell him I don't want to have sex wth him over this trip? I've felt disconnect from him during long distance and I'm old fashioned. I don't know how to describe this in a way he'll understand. 
   I'm nervous he'll think something is wrong in our relationship when in reality I just need to warm up a bit. Any advice? (We normally sleep together)

Answer

My husband and I did long distance for 5 years while I finished my schooling. It was really hard. I defiantly felt disconnected from him a lot and he felt the same way. The best thing we did was sit down and talk about it and come up with ways to help us both stay connected. We implemented weekly Skype dates and a bunch of other things that helped us so much. Sex was something that helped him feel connected, but I’d just end up feeling crappy because I felt like I couldn’t connect (it was also worse any time school was stressful- which was pretty much all the time). So we stopped having sex. He wasn’t all that excited about it, but we used that time to just talk and re-connect in other ways. It helped us both in the end. And the sex went back to being so much better too! 
Just tell him how you’re feeling disconnected from him and don’t feel comfortable having sex. If he cares about you he will respect that- he might not understand because it can be hard to understand someone else’s feelings completely. But hopefully he’ll try and want to work though things so that you feel comfortable again. Long distance depends on communication- especially about your concerns! As long as you’re both willing to talk to each other and help each other feel secure and happy in the relationship then you’ve got nothing to worry about.

Answer

You need to tell him that you feel disconnected. You need to be very upfront about this kind of stuff because he would definitely take it the wrong way if you just say you don’t want to. If you’re important to him he’ll want to work on it over your trip to fix it.

Answer

I think you should just tell him what you told us, and he will probably understand. I was in the same boat and I told my boyfriend how I felt and that I didn't want to have sex when he visited, as its a long distance relationship too, and he respected how I felt.

How do I tell my bf I don't want sex?

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