I just don't know anymore

Hello so my goal from breastfeeding was a year to 18 months. My son turned 1 on October 5th and breastfeeding has just become a cry fest because it's never enough. After he turned on I started cutting back and only breastfeeding mornings and once during the day. He has never used nursing for a sleep crutch. So every time I give it to him he screams for more and just isn't content. So I decided to cut down to only mornings well that just made him very fussy in the am. So I went on a trip with my SO and we where gone 4 days and he drank some whole milk but now I'm back and I really don't know if I'm ready to stop I'm torn. I feel like I'm giving up and I'm not ready for my baby to not need me anymore.