15 month old hitting! Ughhh

My 15 month old has started hitting when she doesn’t get her way, mostly around dinner time and it’s usually when I am feeding her/at the table with her. It’s driving me friggin crazy!!! She will refuse all her dinner or have a few spoons and then start throwing her bowl and spoon everywhere (sometimes at me) When she hits me, I hold her hands and tell her firmly, ‘NO, we do not hit’ (it doesn’t stop her though) and I demonstrate ‘gentle touching’ once she’s calm again. If she gets herself worked up enough she starts screaming and flailing around. She’s extremely violent for a baby! My eldest daughter NEVER behaved like this and I am at a loss of how to discipline her. Please tell me this is developmentally normal because I REALLY do not like hitting as I left a DV relationship 6 years ago (my eldest daughters father). My current partner is amazing and treats me like a queen so she’s definitely not learning this behaviour from us!