I’m susceptible to Bacterial vaginosis (a.k.a. BV) so I’ve had to go in for a gyno visit twice in the past 2 months. As I don’t have health insurance, I just go to local planner parenthood and whichever practitioner they have available takes a look.

Now, as some of you may be aware, when you visit a gyno, they will stick the duck from hell into your vagina a.k.a. the speculum. Looks like this:

I am a 17 year old virgin, and though I’ve managed to get 2 fingers in there like twice, NOTHING BUT A BIG ASS COCK OR A BABY COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THIS.

The first gyno understood this, so she VERY gently stuck Satan’s duck bill in there, and was in and out in 30 seconds.

You’ve probably guessed by now, but the second lady from my most recent visit wasn’t so nice.

This woman shoved roboduck into my sand paper dry ass vagina, twisted/adjusted it, spread the bills of Mordor and locked it is place THEN asked if I was ok. At this point I had shot up and tensed like all hell, and I know that’s the last thing you want to do, but it’s instinctive! Which is why you’re supposed to work slowly! She then had the nerve to tell me to relax! Maybe I would relax if you hadn’t done that! I get she’s trying to do her job, but from my first experience, there are CLEARLY other ways to go about that.

The funniest part is, I was chatting with her prior to this and she said she became a nurse practitioner to be an advocate for women 🙄. I guess my vagina wasn’t worth advocating for.

The worst part is, I bled for three days after that... I’m broke as hell so I’d calculated the pads I’d need for my next period, but now my broke ass has to go out and buy more pads 😭.

Do you guys have any gyno or OB/GYN horror stories?

Happy Thanksgiving!