first time


so my boyfriend & I have been together for awhile now, like 2 years. we always said we wanted to wait to do it until we were out of highschool, were both juniors right now but we were talking about it & mutually agreed that we wanted to do it. he's never pushed me & I've never pushed him btw. & no hate saying I shouldn't because I've thought a lot about it & want to, & I've already spoken to my mom & am starting birth control. but I am going to visit him for christmas & his birthday & want to do it then. I've given him a blow job before, which was hard. he's like 8.5-9 in. & it's really big. I know he'll be gentle with me the first time but I'm so nervous that it'll hurt like really really bad. I know it will a little because that's natural but I know that 8.5 is bigger than normal, so any tips?