Complicated love

So I met a guy 6 years ago tried for a baby once chemical last year.. we got married.. argued ever since about everything.. I was upset and confused as to what I wanted.. I decided I want a divorce we wanted different things.. I started sleeping with his work colleague that we both know and have bothered with.. I thought I had feelings for said man.. didn't use protection as I was told I cannot conceive without <a href="">ivf</a> treatment.. I caught pregnant straight away I've been seeing him for 5 weeks and I am 5 weeks pregnant.. but im bleeding and possible miscarage, 😓 i don't love him of course I barely know him but he loves me and is obsessed with me. this is the sad horrible I'm crazy and a horrible person part.. I still love my husband and want him back.. but I've gone to far and i hate myself.. husband doesn't know I'm pregnant or seeing his work colleague. He misses me but I will tell him everything in a few months time. I'm hoping he will hurt slightly less after a few months without me.. (this is the short version) there is so much more to this. So I'm still married (getting divorced) seeing a mutual friend that works with him got pregnant and now possible miscarage, new guy is in love with me and I miss my husband. I know i am the bad guy and I should be ashamed of myself. What would u do if in this situation (I hope everyone is smarter than me) I can't stop crying.