Interest in bdsm stemming from abuse?

About 2 years ago now I was in an abusive relationship but I didnt really know it while it was happening. He would out of no where start choking me until my face turned red. He slammed me into walls. He was very rough. He bit me and bruised me and tried to make me bleed, all non-sexually. fast forward to the healthy amazing relationship I'm in now and I'm realizing a lot of the things I'm into sexually are things my ex would do to me or say he would do to me. I realized I liked BDSM from being abused and I dont know how to feel about it