Feeling conflicted. 😐

Every year my boyfriends friends go on a snowboarding trip around Christmas time. Ever since I met my boyfriend which was 3 years ago, he has not been able to go because something always comes up like our yearly anniversary, an accident or the first year being that we just met. This year we just had a baby about 3 months ago, and I asked him if he doesn’t go. He got really upset and said I have to go because we don’t do anything anyways. Plus, I can’t always turn my friends down because it’d look really bad on me and you. And he asked when he would get the chance to go. He even made me feel worst by saying it was already paid for. I guess he doesn’t remember, but my boyfriend has never been snowboarding- I haven’t either. When we first met we decided that we would do it together since there aren’t many firsts that we get to experience together, but now my boyfriend has changed his mind because his friends keep pressuring him and are saying he is missing out. I’m kind of upset because 1) We just had our first child. It’s bad that we don’t live together, and he is barely around our daughter as well. 2) I allow him to do whatever and he has a social life, but I’m always at home taking care of our daughter and he just visits several times a week. 3) I wanted us to go snowboarding together, even though we can’t go now at least we can go as a family when our daughter gets a little older. It’s depressing because it seems like we fight over this event every year, but if I don’t let him go his friends just go on thinking I am controlling of him. I guess I am mainly upset because I don’t really have a life outside of my daughter now, but my boyfriend is always doing whatever he wants, and if I mention it he makes me feel bad as a mom and person.