BPD anyone?!

Question

Do you or your so suffer from borderline personality disorder?! I am positive my husband suffers from it but he is in denial. It is exhausting mentally and there are times when I snap. I dont know what to do sometimes. How do you deal with this?! Any advice is appreciated!!!

Answer

My mom is BPD and it has been a really bumpy road. The best advice I can give is to learn how to set boundaries, emotionally and spacially. My mom literally told me she had to fake having flaws so that people were more comfortable around her and were not intimidated by her perfection. This is one of the traits that can appear in some BPD, which makes telling them they need help really difficult and seem fruitless at times. If you decide to stay, you are in for some very interesting arguments and you will witness a lot of self destructive behaviour. As much as you can try to convince him therapy will help, maybe even going to couples therapy to start would be a way to get a foot in the door. I would highly recommend not throwing around a BPD diagnosis to lightly, it is a very complex mental disorder and really should be diagnosed appropriately. There are a ton of great books out there on the subject and they can be great resources. Try to find a local BPD support group, it's amazingly helpful!

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Lots of therapy for him. He never admitted it, though they diagnosed him with it. Lots of therapy for me to help me realize I wasn’t crazy and I was an abuse survivor. 
And, when nothing changed and I could tell nothing would ever change, I left him. Best decision of my life so far.
Lots of trauma through the process, but now we share custody of our school aged son. It isn’t ideal, but I thank god every day I don’t have to feel invisible and crazy every day anymore.
Four years later I am engaged to a wonderful, thoughtful, loving fiancé now.
If you want to stay with him, I recommend “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and “Controlling People” as two really helpful books.
Remember: you’re not crazy. You’re not alone. And you’re not responsible for his stuff.

Answer

I don’t and have not met anyone that I know do with it but I have done a little research on it. A lot of people with BPD and other personality disorders share a common symptom of denial. What other symptoms does he have? Also I would maybe try to get him to see a professional, I know that is challenging especially if he doesn’t think he needs help but if it is BPD it can get very serious and even dangerous mostly for himself.

Answer

My older sister has BPD. She was in complete denial about everything in life. She met a man who would complement her and make her feel good so he could take her money. He hated her and constantly would beat her. Then he would turn around and act like he cared so she would give him her money. He was married and my sister had them living with her. She paid for everything. She thought he loved her. She lived in a fantasy world where they were together and in love. He hit her so hard her retina detached in her eye so she’s blind in one eye. One day he got a gun and him and his wife kept threatening to shoot her and I guess the gun snapped her out of her fantasy because she left. She would’ve gone back but before she could my family whisked her across the country. We also took her cell phone so he couldn’t reach her. He would go back and forth between telling her he loved her and threatening to kill her over text. Eventually he gave up and my sister started to heal from the years of abuse. She kept sending him money until my uncle took her debit card away. She has it back now and is living alone and she’s happy. She even got a kitten and has 2 jobs babysitting.

Answer

I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety, manic depression and BPD. 
I am also pursuing a degree in integrative health (holistic medicine)  I am a high functioning BPD and manic depression and anxiety. But when I fall I fall hard and fast. BPD does not always have to be treated with medicine. cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a treatment that can work. It’s essentially the rewiring of your brain and how you process thoughts and think.. also him not wanting to get help or in denial it is unfortunately a trait of BPD they tend to resist help and treatment. (I’m high functioning so I have a desire to get help and want to grow and change and work on me) with that being said. There has been a ton of research that shows mental illness can be linked to our gut-brain axis (our gut) a unhealthy gut, or a disruption in the gut can lead to induced anxiety and other mood disorders. Probiotics are good but the best way to up your gut flora is through eating fermented food (greek yogurt, keifer, kombucha, fermented vegetables and fruit) For me personally I know what I eat contributes to my highs and lows. There is a ton of treatment options and help available. But unfortunately no one can make him change. He has to want to change in order too. Maybe for not try sneaking him some probiotics and fermented food to see if it helps. A unhealthy gut is linked to MANY health issues (heart disease, obesity, the function of the immune system just to name a few) I love integrative health so i am always researching and writing papers on it.

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I do

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My boyfriend and I are both diagnosed with bipolar, we both individually see therapists and have been since before we met. It was difficult at first but we decided to go to each others sessions and it helped a ton. Maybe suggest going to couples counseling, even if he does or does not have bipolar this might help mediate each others feelings and how to address problems with each other in a more healthy way. This could also lead him down the path to his own individual counseling and maybe he could get diagnosed and better understand himself. I wouldn’t get your hopes up with that or even suggest it, if he’s in denial he has to come to the realization himself which is something I know all to well. Try the couples counseling and see where it takes you, it did wonders for my relationship:)

Answer

I do

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You shouldn’t self diagnose him it’s a complicated disorder that is often misdiagnosed. Many other mental health issues have similar symptoms. With that being said the best way to get men in therapy for mental health problems is to talk them into marriage counseling. A good counselor will pick up on mental health problems either of you may have.

BPD anyone?!

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