WHY NOT SKINNY

so I come from a circle of VERY effortlessly thin, petite friends. I’ve always struggled with my weight and have always been bigger than all the girls in my circle. I’m in my 20s already and I still feel ridiculously claustrophobic in my own body as tho it’s not really me, I still envision this magazine editorial body that I feel I should have. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’m all cellulite and stretch marks. The biggest problem is it completely takes over everything in my life, especially dating. I really do feel as tho no one would want to date someone with a body like this. This is to the point where I will swipe left on men I’m attracted to on tinder purely out of insecurity that they wouldn’t date someone with my body. I know so many women struggle with their bodies and I know I sound ridiculous but I really don’t know what to do. I feel so held back in life and in sex and in love, I just cannot get over this hurdle! I’m not even sure what I’d like the community to input specifically but I’m just so lost..