Cuming inside me

My SO and I don't really have sex very often sense I had my miscarriage but when we do he will never cum inside me. I know it shouldn't matter but I just feel like sex object to him when he just comes on me I used to like it but now it makes me feel like crap. When he used to cum inside me I would feel more connected to him and I wanted to have sex more for that connection. Am I a horrible gf because I only want him to cum inside me and if he doesn't I don't want to have sex?

Update: we have talked about this for the past 6 months and nothing has changed. When we talk about it he says he doesn't want me to get pregnant well I understand that too because we don't have the money. But I usually have a very high sex drive and it's likely to have sexy maybe once a month.