Wish I had left/could leave

LONG POST I don't have a good relationship with my parents, but when they told me a should've left before my first daughter was born so he wasn't on the birth certificate I probably should've. Now I'm 5 weeks with my second baby and I have my 8 month daughter. I don't know what to do. I did leave for 3 days back in August but I was scared and naive that my daughter would be taken from me. Mind you I'm in Indiana which is a mother state but I didn't know and I let him convince me to come back. We have a lot of issues and they're seeming to get worse. Just to name a few---he's emotionally abusive, threatens to kill himself if I leave, says he's going to smack me when he gets angry, takes his anger out on me, treats me like everything I say is the dumbest thing he's ever heard, constantly calls me a bitch, expects me to serve his every beck and call, yells at me because I'm struggling to get a job, tells me to suck it up when my anxiety plagues me, acts like everyone is here to please him and when they don't I get the anger taken out on me, treats me like shit when I don't want to have sex, then proceeds to fuck with me until I give in so he'll stop, then proceeds to hurt me during even when I tell him to stop and I don't like it, etc. I have already lost my parents' trust because I didn't stay away when I left the first time, and they're paranoid because we had a bedbug problem (not anymore now) but they'll put me in a shelter if I ask them for help again and I'll end up losing my babies to cps. I currently don't have a job, no savings, we're living with a friend because our house is getting foreclosed on, none of my friends can house me until I can get on my feet, and I full time care for my daughter with no options for daycare or a babysitter. I feel completely stuck and don't know what to do