My husband's work asked him to work back to back shifts last night and today. He got home at 1am and left again at 5. I woke up with hellish symptoms and literally begged him to come home. 

My teenaged daughter offered to stay home from school, but I don't want her seeing me like this. I was shocked that he treated me literally begging for help the way you'd treat a request to buy milk on the way home...."sure, I'll get it if I'm not too tired"....i thought he was already on his way and a few minutes from home when I got a text that he might come if he can? If he can? Nobody's chaining him up! 

I feel like the worst thing about any chronic illness is being alone and in pain all the time. You feel like you're alone with the devil and his pitchfork and nobody in the world cares. My doctor went on vacation and pushed back my surgery. My husband acts like an adult dropping her pride to beg for help is a request for soda crackers. My daughter is walking her younger brother to school and is the only one with the emotional maturity to help me. 

When you're sick people think you do it for attention. Some people even fake it for attention. I don't think they know what it's actually like. People ignore you when you're sick. Men leave you or cheat when you can't have sex anymore. They act like you're being dramatic when the pain gets bad and you're crying on the floor. 

Idk why I'm even ranting here. I guess I just don't want to be a sick sore loser alone in a bathroom. Maybe reading the experiences of others will somehow be a comfort.