I need some advice.. 😓

Mikayla •

I have been feeling extremely depressed the past 2-3 weeks. My SO is a truck driver so I kind if hide my feelings when he is home so we don't fight or ruin our family time together. I'm not sure how to really say this without sounding horrible... but I'll try and get through it. so when I first got pregnant with my 2nd baby last December my SOs sister was pregnant too just a few weeks ahead of me. well I had an ectopic pregnancy and she went on to have her baby girl. I'm not going to lie I was jealous, but I was glad that her baby was ok and everything.. since last December we have been trying to get pregnant again. No Luck At All! 🙁 well her daughter is 4 months pregnant now and she's PREGNANT AGAIN! they weren't even trying... this will be baby #5 for them. she's not happy to be pregnant again cause she said it's too soon but for some reason I can't help but feel hate towards her. I do not wish anything to happen to her baby at all but no part of me wants to be around her or her family either. It really sucks cause we all live together right now. I talked to my mother about it last night and she wanted me to tell my SO how I felt. So I sent him this message b4 I went to bed last night... Look I'm sure u have been wondering why I've been so bitchy the past couple of weeks.. and why I haven't been going around Kayla n them much. I'm pissed off cause we have been trying to have a baby for a year now and Kayla can look at doug with her legs open and get pregnant.. we have been trying so hard and it's not working. Mia just turned 4 months old and they're already pregnant. THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRY! It takes everything I have not to say something about it... idk what to do I can't stand being around them cause of it. I'm sure your going to tell me to get over it and blah blah blah but I can't. I have tried since she told us. I just can't get over it. Every time I think about it I cry. 😥 I don't fucking know what to do.. I've tried not to say anything to u about it cause I know how u are about things like this. Idk how u feel about it but this is how I feel. That's why I don't talk to them and I go around them as little as possible. I'm done hearing about the baby already. I wish I could say I'm happy for them but I'm really not. Take it how u want I don't even care at this point. But that's what has been wrong with me. I'm going to bed now. good night baby I love u

looking at the message now and rereading it makes me think it's a bit harsh... on top of everything my SO hasn't talked to me all day today. He will read my messages but not respond to me. Am I over reacting? Should I have kept my feelings to myself? Idk how to fix this...