I'm too nervous to get excited 😭

morning ladies. I'm 36 yrs old, diagnosed with PCOS, endometriosis, taking metformin to lower my testosterone, and just got a BFP on Sunday. The thing is I'm too nervous to get excited. I got a BFP in October also but i miscarried in November because my doctor believed my testosterone was entirely too high & driving my progesterone down. Once he determined i was going to miscarry he put me on metformin.

Well my period was due today so i elected to test a couples days before, well it was positive. I didn't jump for joy or go running thru the house like i did in October...I just starred at the test. I've also elected not to tell my family & friends until i know i can sustain the pregnancy.

I want to be excited and I want to tell my parents for Christmas...but I'm too scared. I can't stop crying about this because I'm expecting the worst. I also can't stop taking tests!

This is my test from this morning.