I need help

Me and my boyfriend have been trying for almost a year now for our first child together. He has a boy who is now 2 with another woman and he doesn’t ever get to see him because of his baby mom. We are in the process of getting visitation for his son. I started working again and I’ve been stressed so I think that has a lot to do with why I haven’t gotten pregnant. I was on the depo shot for a little over a year, and I know it takes awhile to become fertile again, but I feel like I’m losing all hope in ever getting pregnant again. When I was 17 I had a miscarriage and I have been unable to conceive ever since. I think it’s a me problem. I’m getting really depressed about it and I don’t ever want to have sex anymore. I just went through a whole month of not shaving or taking care of myself. My boyfriend still told me I was beautiful every day but I couldn’t get out of my feelings. I want to have a baby with him so bad, but I feel like every time we try, or every time we have sex I just get disappointed when I take a test and it’s negative. What I wouldnt do to see that positive sign. I wasn’t ready before, but now I am. I know I want my family with this man. I just need some encouragement and some advice. I feel like a failure because I can’t give my man another child. I stay active and I work all the time to keep my mind busy, but I just get so down sometimes. 😭😭